*radiocast*

Last Broadcast Of The Day Was May 29, 2004
5/29/2004 12:46:00 AM

wooh wee! hehe. got an mp3 playa up and running on zis blog! haha! if you have loadsa bandwidth, it should load quite quikly. if u hate ze songz, tag here i will change itz.

if you are still stuck in 1997 and using a pitiful 56k, sorry i cant do much about that to make it fasta. hehe.

haiz. i guess i have pretty much no purpose in life now. no jc now. it seems lyke i have no reason to do sth now. juz sitting at home growing fatter, eating more and playing more games. somehow i get sick of playing games sometimes. too much of sth is a bad thing anyways. maybe thats y i chose that song. cos i got no reason for nothing.

so how? someone find me something to do b4 i go for orientation, drum camp and new zealand trip leh...

as for now, games again... haiz...

Last Broadcast Of The Day Was May 27, 2004
5/27/2004 04:46:00 PM

i have not changed or bathed for the last 1.5 days. yucks. juz had a shit, a showa and a change. everything seems back to normal now.

yeah. this mornin watched the champions league final. porto 3 monaco 0. was rooting monaco to win cos they kicked out real madrid. real isnt that likeable somehow. was a lil dissed off by porto b4 the game cos they kicked out manchester united. anyways. it was a great game by porto. very convincing win.

however something really DAMN STUPID happened during the game. the referee that sent "beloved" david beckham off in the world cup in 1998 and made the idiotic argentinians win refereed the game. that arse. that chicken head. he has done it AGAIN.

carlos alberto scores the first goal for porto. GOAL! he runs in joy and celebration. rips off his jersey. shows off his singlet. guess what the idiotic referee did? HE GAVE HIM THE YELLOW CARD. that damn stupid referee followed the damn stupid rule. if you dun celebrate like that in a european cup final, when can you celebrate? he siao lah he.

later on, the russian player celebrated after scoring a second for porto. kishichev is the name i tink. anyways. the whole team was celebrating after scoring a second which anchors the game for porto. the stupid referee actually told the team to break up and get on! what an idiot. when can you celebrate a goal then?

anyways. slept at 5.30am. woke up at 2pm. well i slept less than 9 hours for once. haha.

Last Broadcast Of The Day Was May 24, 2004
5/24/2004 11:03:00 PM

haiz... you really see the dark side of life when you go to jc... any jc...

i sensed the bad from 2 close fwens i made these few months. they seemed really depressed. i attempted to joke with them as i do most of the time in skool on the net, but it juz turned out bad. somehow got a "kicked in the ass cos you juz are a fucker now" feeling. wat can i do? juz a bad day...

well you wont really see it in the first three months cos everyone juz got relieved and is slacking and making merry outta every single second in every way possible. now, the dark side shows itself. in a VERY dark way.

so many pple i know are juz acting crazy all over the place. including myself i guess. not i guess so. it is so. so many of them are just acting like life is juz a crazy affair where you do silly things with some serious times.

in actual fact, the silly things are to cover the depression from these serious times.

if you are in the following two examples and you are unhappy about this, PLEASE TELL ME. i will simply delete this away. i will respect my fwens.

first with the example of X.
i do not wish to reveal the identity of this person for his/her privacy. its left for him/her to know and for you to either be curious about or to find out. this is REAL. but if you do find out or know, keep it to your heart.

x is now happily joking around. very much like me. playin idiot and telling spastic jokes that the rest of us juz laff about. doin stupid things that make us all follow along. x acts strangly to eek other pple to somehow see his stupid side. well. x looks happy. x really does look like he is happy. but x has a dark side. x is just keeping an upbeat mood.

x has a problem of getting along with parental control. x has done things that somehow have irritated his parents. well x didnt really do things lyke wreck the house or have parties in a sex club, but certain old rules that were meant as tight control were just removed. returning home later in the afternoon and even in the evening; being really irritated by some demands; no longer following previous disciplines like when to eat, when to study and when to sleep; forced to do things not really in his interest but for his parents. x was doing wad he was told to do. x juz feels bad of being slightly rebellious of sorts.

the worst of things hit x. x had done the things many pple have fallen into: love. romantic love. well. it is not really a bad thing. but the feeling of being "rejected for the time being" just made his life more torturous. well. what can he do? its not really within his control. but he has something to sort out with that problem.

so he juz jokes around to cover up. to show that he is "okay". is he really okay? i really dunt noe. i will juz help him anyways i can and juz be an advisor.

being an advisor, i juz hope pple juz pass the good deed along. i believe in retribution somehow. i juz hope someone can tok to be properly and kind to advise me and tok.

last with the example of Y.
i do not wish to reveal the identity of this person for his/her privacy. its left for him/her to know and for you to either be curious about or to find out. this is REAL. but if you do find out or know, keep it to your heart.

Y is another fwen i made when i got to nyjc. i first thought this person was some silly joker who does nothing but laff laff laff all day long.

i really thought so. even when i got to know Y more.

then, the dark side came out again in another person.

Y seemed to be having fwenship problems. not that y had a problem with making fwens or being outcasted by fwens, but in the worry that some of the fwens were not really true or loyal. worried over that they were simply backstabbers or betrayers or juz those kinda idiots that gossip over y. worried about the -ve side. worried over wad other fwens think.

well. this is strange aint it. a person i joked with all day long actually told me to shut the ***k up online when i joked with that person. i understand your feelings. you dont really want to say that somehow. its just depressing.

To All My Friends: Don't be too depressed over certain things in life. Be it fwens, BGR, family, studies or anything else, juz look at it, but never too seriously. too much of something is a bad thing. that applies to depression and seriousness. if you feel comfortable, juz find another person. someone YOU CAN TRUST. it doesnt need to be me. but the pain you feel inside your heart can be reduced juz by opening your mouth or moving your fingers. there is no other pain more easily relieved than that.

TO THOSE PPLE BEING MENTIONED HERE: IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS, JUST TELL ME IN MY FACE. USE VULGARITIES OR HATEFUL WORDS. GO AHEAD. BUT PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. WE HAVE FWENSHIPS. I WILL JUST DELETE THIS POST THAT TOOK 40 MINUTES. NO SWEAT.

5/24/2004 03:33:00 PM

haiz... now in the library getting stuff to be signed on the withdrawal form... this is a bad day...

leaving nyjc is really not as fun as some idiots think. yeah. less pain of study. less pain of screwed up lives and lost love for some pple. less stress. less of almost everything bad. however, its really down to leaving the good parts of it all too.

the pple in nyjc are really nice. they dun really do bad things to you. well some other places have really all the assholes in skool. some are pai kias. some are juz total assholes that pick on you for the smallest hair problem or whatever. they juz pick on everything to tok about. nyjc has less of that.

well of course i see some pple goin crazy and depressed over their life which is lyke "screwed up" by ny. yeah maybe mine was a lil too. but this is a totally new place to be in. some have been in another for 10 years lyke me. some have been somewhere else for 4 years. but it cannot compare to the short stay here for 2-3 years at most. the feeling of belonging cant really get in.

went back to cat high that day on a bike. yeah long journey but it was fun since there was nothing to do in a saturday morning except playin gunbound with screwed up idiots.

the feeling of goin back was completely different. there was this sense of familiarity. it seemed lyke somewhere you really belong. its lyke being a molecule from there or somethin. i doubt the only other place that can do that is my house.

well of course pple changed upon reaching ny. aik lim is the classic example. from a quiet mouse to a more approachable person. for me, i got another buncha fwens to go around wif. i juz cant seem to feel right when i am not a clique. i was really comfy in a clique in cat high. the "b"s were really a funny bunch. didnt really have that in srjc. maybe thats y i didnt really lyke it. den in ny, i got pple lyke yisheng and zhiyang to go around in and outside of class. den the fellow drummers are really this gigantic clique organisation. haha. pple lyke alson hannah daniel norman janice and esta. i somehow need to have this sense of security where true fwens are around in the environment. i guess everyone needs it. its juz whether you need more or less of it.

then goin to temasek poly. i know almost no one goin there except for 2 pple. well betta than nothin. i didnt noe anyone goin to srjc then AT ALL. that was really bad. maybe thats y i like ny. haha. at least pple lyke jay and KC and aaron are around.

k alsons in the workroom now. WHERE IS MY FOOTBALL????????

5/24/2004 01:27:00 AM

this is really a boring day...

woke up at 8am due to acute stomachache... shitted, went back and slept till 3... haha...

saturday watched shrek 2 wif KC and met alex lee and sek sheng. number of pple i bumped into were countless... different pple from different places. everything was tasteless due to my flu... its so pharked up loh...

today was boring. i juz sat at the tv till evening time. went out to plaza sg for dinner @ snoopy place. forced to eat that yucky salad. anyways didnt eat anyways. haha i somehow hate my greens.

dad got a new fone. nokia 3120. we took some time to select what we wanted. well it too much time based on price. well my dad juz somehow keeps saying that his son always has a better fone than him though he's the one making the bucks.. haha. well strange enuff it has always been since my 7210.

well. i have changed many fones... haha. first was a silly nortel fone i had in primary 6. den had a pager till sec 1. it was a 6110. den was a 3310. after that the thing got a lil wrecked so changed to a 3315. hit a lucky draw got a 7210. den changed to a 6510 to use the $ for a pda. the 6510 sucked. nex was 8310. needed colour. sold the pda got a 6610. the 6610 was ultimate crap. got my beloved 3650. that was the fone i held the longest. the longest till that bastard stole my fone. fucker. then no choice took a 6100. den had a samsung s300. it got wrecked. now its my n-gage. lets see how long this lasts...